#4


October 17, 2017

Joy, sweet joy! A new grand daughter! Dear sweet Louisa! In a few hours she will be a day old.  So tiny, so perfect! Of course I wish I could be there but I am doing quite well with the offering up of desires. I am so thankful that we have ways of sharing pictures, messages, calls, and even videos face to face.  It certainly makes the distance seem a bit shorter.  Still, my arms and heart want to hold her badly.  I think of her a lot. I think of my own daughter, now a mother. I am full of gratitude for the safe delivery and healthy baby girl. I want to hold them both.  I will get to in two weeks but it seems like such a long time to wait.  It will mean many more moments of offering up.

Yesterday, while waiting for news of the birth, I was hoping, praying for a safe delivery.  Every fiber of my being was pulling for my daughter to have a safe delivery.  The tension during the waiting was enormous.  And then, all of a sudden comes the text, "We have a baby! Mama is great! Ten fingers, ten toes; all is perfect!" Such a flood of relief! I was so happy, so grateful, so thankful!

After awhile the devil tried to get his awful foot in the door of my happiness by reminding me that I had no one here with whom to share that moment.  Yes, that was true. Really though? Am I going to get saddened by that? I'll throw it up to God; offer that little goad of satan's as an offering in thanksgiving for a healthy baby and momma and for those three couples for whom I am praying. Done! Get behind me, satan!

I'll admit there is still a struggle deep in my heart.  I do not have any callouses built up around my heart yet...and I hope I never will.  When I called this morning for a flower arrangement to be made for my daughter and new family, I talked to someone at the hospital where they do flower arrangements on site.  I did fine with the choosing of the price, the kind of flowers and all that, but when she asked what I wanted the card to say I tried to tell her.  There was a glitch in my throat, nothing came out, the floodgate of tears opened; I said, "um, just a minute, sorry." She assured me it was okay and to take my time.  I got it out eventually and within moments the faucet of tears shut off and all was well.

You help me, You sustain me, You lift me up! I praise You! "My God brightens the darkness about me; with my God to help I can leap a wall. Psalm 18: 29-30"